The last month of life has been incredibly, undeniably, shockingly weird. Seriously. First, I got to spend a week in Belize doing the work that I want to be doing for the rest of my life. It was absolutely amazing and I loved every second of it. Then, there was this one situation that really messed with my brain and has me continuing to do a lot of soul-searching, even almost a month later! Long story short- I met a boy and it didn’t work out. But, now, I am back at OCU and trying to get through another semester of undergrad. Talk about some ups and downs.
Being in Belize, completely in my element and getting to do the work of Jesus, I was on cloud 9. Coming back to Oklahoma, it has been hard to slip back into the everyday drag of class, work, homework, meetings, and then doing it all over again everyday. It is really easy for me to get frustrated and sidetracked because the things that I do in my daily routine seem so trivial compared to the things that I will hopefully be doing in the future. I don’t feel that I am doing anything meaningful. The only word I can think of is whirlwind. I have been a whirlwind of emotions, feelings, and thoughts. Whether these thoughts are about the future, today, or yesterday, they never seem to go away. I can’t get my mind to shut off. So, I have been tasking myself with using a breath prayer. This type of prayer in particular was shared with me many years ago at a winter retreat. Basically, you find a short phrase and match the words to an inhale and exhale. The one I currently use has “right here” on the inhale and “right now” on the exhale. Sometimes I just breathe for a minute and think those words to myself. It’s effective and can be used for many different situations.
It is so easy to get caught up in the “what ifs” and other questions of our lives. I have been very guilty of this in the last month. Whether I’m thinking about where that potential relationship could have led, where I should be in my work and studies, or how in the world am I going to go to PA school, I have to remind myself where my feet are planted. They are planted right where God wants them to be, and as long as I can be focused on this moment that I am in, I am doing just fine. Don’t let thoughts of the future cloud your experiences of today. It’s not worth it. Enjoy today for what it has to offer and know that tomorrow is going to happen eventually.
Breathe in, breathe out. Right here, right now.